Stripping Retiree

Life

2009-06-12T13:57:00.002-04:00

Sorry for such a long hiatus.

Between my computer crashing, moving, car dying, and an unexpected visit to Virginia my life has been a little hectic to say the least.

I wanted to let everyone know that, yes your friendly neighboorhood ex-stripper is still in fact alive, and that I'll be writing more soon as soon as I get a good topic to wrap my head around.

<3

Hustling

2009-05-12T13:00:00.003-04:00

Every dancers hustle is different. I personally used allot of humor and it seemed to work for me. Some dancers can pull off the whole sex kitten routine and others play the innocent newbie bit.

No matter what your hustle you have to be on the floor. If you are not seen then nobody knows you're there.

Don't get me wrong, I've been known to get discouraged and sit in the dressing room to catch a breather and bitch. But the simple fact of the matter is it doesn't matter if there's one customer or a hundred on the floor. That one customer could be a high roller or you could sell a hundred lap dances.

You have to keep in mind that you're at work. Keep a smile on your face and hustle your best hustle. But you have to be seen to be bought.

Lyrical Fridays 2

2009-05-08T10:21:00.001-04:00

Perfect Gentleman by Wyclef Jean

(This one's goin' out to the strip joints
Yo, meet me at Suzy's Rendez-vous
For every Go-Go Bar
I'ma send this one out to the gentlemen's clubs
Magic City, New York dogs, Rolex
I be seeing y'all up in there late at night
I understand when your girl is stressing you out
[Crazy girls] Know what I'm saying?
Don't let the ladies fool y'all now, fellas
They be doin' the same thing y'all be doin'
Turn up my symphony, man.
Turn up my symphony!
Drop a BEAT!)

I'm in paradise. Look at all these crystals, what's up in scores? (uh-huh)
Yo straight up this the new anthem for anybody working hard tryin to make that
money (giddyup giddyup giddyup), check it out, ya'll.

[Chorus]
Just 'cuz she dances go-go
It don't make her a ho, no
Maxine, put your red shoes on, hon
We going to the disco
We gonna eeeelope to Meeeexico
Called up my mama, said I'm in love with this strippah, yo

[Verse 1]
Ten grand, let me see you shake it like you got no
bones in your body and you was made to be a celebrity
Twenty grand, know it's a sin, but if only you show
me a little more skin it would fulfill my fantasy
Thirty grand, to the highest bidder but Chris Rock
said, 'There's no sex in the champaigne room'
Forty grand, looked into her eyes, I saw tears falling
down, type of tears that money couldn't buy

[Chorus 2X]

[Verse 2]
-Wyclef-
Excuse me, what is your name?
-Hope-
Uh, my name is Hope, yo
I was blessed with the body of the Goddesses
Have you any idea how hard this is?
I could flex in 25 positions
But I only work here to pay my tuition
Yo, tantalizing teaser
Table-top pleaser
Give me what I need a
Mastercard or Visa
Lap dance fantasy
Picture us on an all white canopy
Wyclef extended his hand to me
Like Billy D. said he's feelin me
Take me away from here, so far
Where they ride horses, no cars
No more stripping in bars
Me and you 'Clef, against the odds

[Chorus 2X]

(Yo a lot of y'all sitting with y'all girls
fronting like the budweiser commercial
Talking bout, 'IIIIIII, I don't be going to the strip joints'
You lying man! You'd be surprised who you see up in there man.
I got one question for you liars, man)

Shot callers, What are you, a preacher?
You calling her a hooker? He without sin cast the first stone.
I met her on the subway, she gave me that VIP card
And told me if I ever have problems,
Don't hesitate to come by, yeah, yeah, yeah

[Chorus 2X]
Call up my mama said I'm in love with this strippah yo!

(Yo baby, can I get another lap dance? I tell you I
got nothing but funny money, man. New York Dogs.)

Like a slap in the face

2009-05-08T10:12:00.003-04:00

So me and my Hubby ran across this story today.

All I have to say is what....the....fuck?

I've been homeless, eaten at soup kitchens, and volunteered at said soup kitchen. There is no reason to be homeless for fourteen years! NONE!

I keep thinking why didn't they spend this money to put her into an extensive rehabilitation center and get him some sort of education. That seems allot more beneficial than marrying them and giving them a house they will probably loose in a month. Then where are they? Right back where they started.

It's a huge slap in the face to people like me and the Hubby that have been there and come out of it and still can't even get a pat on the back.

Little back story here. Me and the Hubby are not legally married. We can't afford it. Plain and simple. I am the only one working because as of right now Hubby isn't medically able to work. Hopefully that will change after his Doc appointment on Monday. But still. I'm selling roses and stuffed animals in bars and strip clubs at night and that just isn't enough to pay the bills. We struggle to live and they get whatever they want by sitting on the streets? How is that fair to any working couple?

It's hard not to lay down and give up.

Female sexuality of the teenage persuasion.

2009-05-05T16:28:00.002-04:00

Ok so I recently ran across alot of flack about Oprah having a Doctor on her show promoting Mothers buying their daughters vibrators.

I sat and thought about it. It's not something a Mother should do unless she already has a very good relationship with her daughter. Personally though I don't see anything wrong with it. My Mother gave me a "back massager" and told me she would rather me pleasure myself than get pregnant.

Rather blunt there Mom.

But I didn't need years of therapy and honestly had kind of forgotten about it until I read about Oprahs show.

But much to my Husbands torment I discussed this with him. Not that he added too much to the conversation but it let me speak my thoughts out loud. I would buy vibrators for my daughters. Just the same as I would supply their birth control and condoms. If anyone thinks their daughter is going to wait till marriage to have sex and spend the rest of her life with that one man in this day and age is really, really setting themselves up for disappointment. So why not supply them with the tools and education to at least know how to have a good sexual experience. I can imagine how bad it can mess with a girls self esteem if sex isn't like the movies, and lets face it, if left up to a teenage boy she isn't going to get much pleasure out of the situation.

Then there's the argument that it will provide teenage girls sexual release and they will end up waiting longer to have sex since they have the option of satisfying themselves instead of their satisfaction relying on a boy. I don't know how true this would be. Granted you have to admit it gives you a little hope that your little flower wont be...ahem...deflowered sooner rather than later.

But from personal experience I'm glad my Mother did what she did. When I did decide to have sex I already knew what I liked and could tell my first partner, my partners after, and my Hubby now. Making for a better sexual experience for both of us. Because ladies, we all know, if we're not happy....they aren't going to be either.

Stripping pregnant and why I quit

2009-05-03T23:11:00.004-04:00

I quit stripping before I started showing but it didn't change the fact that I was a ball of raging hormones.

Rude comments are a nightly occurrence when your stripping so you eventually let them roll off your back. Be the ducky. Right?

Not so easy when your hormones are making you crazy. I never went running to the dressing room crying over something a nasty customer said. I...got...mean. Really. After becoming pregnant I told a customer he should consider himself lucky to see my face for a dollar, threw a hundred in a Spanish speaking mans face after he tried to act like he didn't know the dance was actually one hundred and fifty, knocked a drunk man on his bum, and so on, and so on.

Mean I say.

I would have loved to danced through my pregnancy. But it's honestly just too dangerous. I would have liked to dance until I paid for my education and quit before my Daughter started school. But my twelve year old stepdaughter is coming to live with me and the Hubby soon and me and the Hubby talked and decided that we didn't want her to have to be ridiculed at school if her classmates found out her Stepmother is a stripper.

She knew what I did and she probably could have handled it better than we think she could but still. There's no reason for that. Though it rubs me the wrong way that nobody will say anything about Hubby being a bouncer in a strip club. But others opinions about stripping is best left for another post.

Lyrical Fridays 1

2009-05-01T19:06:00.001-04:00

So I would love to share some songs that are stripper positive. So...welcome to the first installation of Lyrical Fridays.

Naked Hustler by: Kedash

I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I gat kids I'm a wife
And bills to pay
So I twist and shake
Till my body akes
I twist and shake
All day
And I pray That you make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain

I'm the Naked Hustler
You heard of me
Figure eight frame
No Surgery
And it must be that ass
That gat niggers focused
And I do magic tricks like
Like hocus pocus
Tats on my back
And I know you notice
The way I make it clap
Gat your mouth wide open
They say I gat a future behind me
And I'm on my naked hustle
This is where you can find me

MONDAY
I'M AT rollex
Tuesday
I'm at coco's
Wednesday
I'm at take one
Thursday
I'm at black gold
Friday
I'm at diamonds
Saturday
Taking off my cloths
So support the naked

I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I gat kids I'm a wife
And bills to pay
So I twist and shake
Till my body akes
I twist and shake
All day
And I pray That you make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain

Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Rain
Rain
Rain

Alcohol and heels don't mix.

2009-05-01T14:30:00.003-04:00

OK, so first and foremost my Hubby is picking out topics randomly. So if anyone, anyone at all would like to throw a topic idea out into the universe feel free.

Drinking while at work is very common for strippers. Guys like to buy them drinks or in the case of some clubs customers can bring their own booze in. I see no problem with having a drink or two during the night. But I hate to see girls that need to drink to be able to do the job. If you can't do the job sober it may not be the job for you.

I've seen girls fall flat on their faces and generally make fools of themselves while intoxicated. Girls, it's not cute. You loose money doing this in the long run. Yes there may be allot of men that think they can get more out of you if your drunk and therefore buy more dances. But really, is it worth making a fool of yourself? Or putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation? No.
Girls drinking themselves into oblivion goes far beyond just embarrassment. It's dangerous. Girls get drunk and take drinks that are already opened without realizing it and get drugged. They get raped, beat up, or worse. All because they couldn't control their drinking. Not to mention the girls that drive themselves home after work. Hello? Not only are you endangering your own life but the lives of innocent people also.

Alcohol isn't the only thing. Girls that do drugs at work are just as bad. They are still intoxicating themselves and impairing their judgement. Granted I've worked with girls that do a line here or there and can still conduct themselves professionally. But the girls that do these things in excess are just setting themselves up for failure.

Case in point. A dancer I used to work with had a very bad pill problem. Well, really a bad everything problem. She took a guy back for a private dance one night and almost got herself raped. I saw her sitting with him before this incident and watched her rub his crotch and generally act like a slut. So I guess he was a little miffed when she didn't deliver what he thought she was going to. So because of her getting completely trashed and acting in a way she normally wouldn't have, she almost got raped, customer got his arm injured, and a bouncer got fired for using too much force. Great job. You suck at life.

So girls please, use some common sense and control your substance use. It could save your life and your reputation.

Extras Girls

2009-04-30T13:04:00.004-04:00

In my year of stripping I conducted myself professionally. I thought of myself as a modern day Geisha. Offering witty banter, lighting your cigarettes, pouring your drinks, dancing, and just generally making you feel important. I did not offer sexual favors for money. Ever. I was an entertainer not a prostitute.

Sadly with the economy taking a steady downward spiral within the last few years men are wanting more bang for their buck so to speak. This is where the Extras Girls come in. Now granted prostitution isn't as prevalent as it once was just ten years or so ago. It's now become harder for Clean girls to make money.

I was talking to a stripper friend of mine last night who we'll call E*. E* said that she could remember as little as three years ago, crying when she left with three hundred on a weeknight. Now she's happy to make that on a Friday or Saturday night. The biggest reason for this is the Extras Girls. They offer up what the men are looking for all in a nice convenient little package. Company, booze, drugs, and sex all in one $150.00 per fifteen minute private dance. So kids, as we all know about sales competition, the better deal is getting more for less. That's what these girls offer.

So here's girls like me and E* that don't do this trying to make an honest living getting our throats cut by Extras Girls. Now don't get me wrong, I believe a woman has the right to do what she wants with her body. I think prostitution should be legalized and regulated. But if you're going to work in a strip club don't offer sex in the club. Find your customers elsewhere or at least do it outside the club and for more money. Or maybe go to Nevada where it's legal. But don't ruin others chances of making money.

But that being said I think that pretty well explains Extras Girls. Please feel free to comment with ideas for more topics.

Why?

2009-04-29T13:12:00.005-04:00

I thought for my first real blog post I would address the question that I get asked the most. Why would you want to be a stripper? Well, why does anyone work? To make money. I got into the industry rather late. Most girls start as soon as their eighteen and sometimes younger if a fake ID finds its way into their hands. I started at twenty.

My short lived career started at a very high class club. First Choice* was very large with a huge stage, two satellite stages, couch room, VIP area with a pole, and champagne rooms. Three stories tall and kept very clean. A friend of mine danced there and she said that it was a very good club to start out in because it was topless optional. Meaning when we were on stage we didn't have to take off our tops unless we wanted to and it was only required in the couch room or champagne rooms. I went in to speak with the manager and he was nothing like I had seen in the movies. I was very naive to the whole situation and had the stereotype of some greasy handsy pimp. On the contrary, he was young, attractive, and made me feel very comfortable. He never once asked me to do anything that I wasn't willing to do.

Within my first week I had a regular. We'll call him Lizard* In the strip club world a regular is a customer that comes to your club a certain amount of times a week or month and gets dances from just you. He was an older man with lots of tattoos. He ran a rather illegal business and brought his clients into our club because the music volume prevented him from being caught with wires. But none the less when he was done with his client I would spend the evening with him giving him lap dances and providing conversation.

I got into stripping for the money. I stayed to offer therapy and entertainment. After working for a while I realized that not all of my customers would be handsy pervs. Most of them were lonely, worked too much, or didn't get what they needed from their wives. No, I'm not talking about sex. Sometimes fake affection is better than none at all. So, I guess essentially I like making people feel good about themselves. That's why I was a stripper. It's not always men either, but that's a topic for another post.

*Names have been changed for privacy.

Introductory Post

2009-04-28T16:39:00.003-04:00

Hello and welcome to a little window into the life of a retired stripper. I'll be posting stories from when I was dancing and my life now. Mostly musings about the industry, life, marriage, pregnancy, and parenting. Forgive me if my ramblings are a bit scattered and hard to read but hopefully this will intrest someone. Or possibly give someone insight into a life that they otherwise would never be interested in. This blog is for my family and of course my overworked and underpaid ladies in the clubs.