Sorry for such a long hiatus.
Between my computer crashing, moving, car dying, and an unexpected visit to Virginia my life has been a little hectic to say the least.
I wanted to let everyone know that, yes your friendly neighboorhood ex-stripper is still in fact alive, and that I'll be writing more soon as soon as I get a good topic to wrap my head around.
<3
Friday, June 12, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Hustling
Every dancers hustle is different. I personally used allot of humor and it seemed to work for me. Some dancers can pull off the whole sex kitten routine and others play the innocent newbie bit.
No matter what your hustle you have to be on the floor. If you are not seen then nobody knows you're there.
Don't get me wrong, I've been known to get discouraged and sit in the dressing room to catch a breather and bitch. But the simple fact of the matter is it doesn't matter if there's one customer or a hundred on the floor. That one customer could be a high roller or you could sell a hundred lap dances.
You have to keep in mind that you're at work. Keep a smile on your face and hustle your best hustle. But you have to be seen to be bought.
No matter what your hustle you have to be on the floor. If you are not seen then nobody knows you're there.
Don't get me wrong, I've been known to get discouraged and sit in the dressing room to catch a breather and bitch. But the simple fact of the matter is it doesn't matter if there's one customer or a hundred on the floor. That one customer could be a high roller or you could sell a hundred lap dances.
You have to keep in mind that you're at work. Keep a smile on your face and hustle your best hustle. But you have to be seen to be bought.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lyrical Fridays 2
Perfect Gentleman by Wyclef Jean
(This one's goin' out to the strip joints
Yo, meet me at Suzy's Rendez-vous
For every Go-Go Bar
I'ma send this one out to the gentlemen's clubs
Magic City, New York dogs, Rolex
I be seeing y'all up in there late at night
I understand when your girl is stressing you out
[Crazy girls] Know what I'm saying?
Don't let the ladies fool y'all now, fellas
They be doin' the same thing y'all be doin'
Turn up my symphony, man.
Turn up my symphony!
Drop a BEAT!)
I'm in paradise. Look at all these crystals, what's up in scores? (uh-huh)
Yo straight up this the new anthem for anybody working hard tryin to make that
money (giddyup giddyup giddyup), check it out, ya'll.
[Chorus]
Just 'cuz she dances go-go
It don't make her a ho, no
Maxine, put your red shoes on, hon
We going to the disco
We gonna eeeelope to Meeeexico
Called up my mama, said I'm in love with this strippah, yo
[Verse 1]
Ten grand, let me see you shake it like you got no
bones in your body and you was made to be a celebrity
Twenty grand, know it's a sin, but if only you show
me a little more skin it would fulfill my fantasy
Thirty grand, to the highest bidder but Chris Rock
said, 'There's no sex in the champaigne room'
Forty grand, looked into her eyes, I saw tears falling
down, type of tears that money couldn't buy
[Chorus 2X]
[Verse 2]
-Wyclef-
Excuse me, what is your name?
-Hope-
Uh, my name is Hope, yo
I was blessed with the body of the Goddesses
Have you any idea how hard this is?
I could flex in 25 positions
But I only work here to pay my tuition
Yo, tantalizing teaser
Table-top pleaser
Give me what I need a
Mastercard or Visa
Lap dance fantasy
Picture us on an all white canopy
Wyclef extended his hand to me
Like Billy D. said he's feelin me
Take me away from here, so far
Where they ride horses, no cars
No more stripping in bars
Me and you 'Clef, against the odds
[Chorus 2X]
(Yo a lot of y'all sitting with y'all girls
fronting like the budweiser commercial
Talking bout, 'IIIIIII, I don't be going to the strip joints'
You lying man! You'd be surprised who you see up in there man.
I got one question for you liars, man)
Shot callers, What are you, a preacher?
You calling her a hooker? He without sin cast the first stone.
I met her on the subway, she gave me that VIP card
And told me if I ever have problems,
Don't hesitate to come by, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Chorus 2X]
Call up my mama said I'm in love with this strippah yo!
(Yo baby, can I get another lap dance? I tell you I
got nothing but funny money, man. New York Dogs.)
(This one's goin' out to the strip joints
Yo, meet me at Suzy's Rendez-vous
For every Go-Go Bar
I'ma send this one out to the gentlemen's clubs
Magic City, New York dogs, Rolex
I be seeing y'all up in there late at night
I understand when your girl is stressing you out
[Crazy girls] Know what I'm saying?
Don't let the ladies fool y'all now, fellas
They be doin' the same thing y'all be doin'
Turn up my symphony, man.
Turn up my symphony!
Drop a BEAT!)
I'm in paradise. Look at all these crystals, what's up in scores? (uh-huh)
Yo straight up this the new anthem for anybody working hard tryin to make that
money (giddyup giddyup giddyup), check it out, ya'll.
[Chorus]
Just 'cuz she dances go-go
It don't make her a ho, no
Maxine, put your red shoes on, hon
We going to the disco
We gonna eeeelope to Meeeexico
Called up my mama, said I'm in love with this strippah, yo
[Verse 1]
Ten grand, let me see you shake it like you got no
bones in your body and you was made to be a celebrity
Twenty grand, know it's a sin, but if only you show
me a little more skin it would fulfill my fantasy
Thirty grand, to the highest bidder but Chris Rock
said, 'There's no sex in the champaigne room'
Forty grand, looked into her eyes, I saw tears falling
down, type of tears that money couldn't buy
[Chorus 2X]
[Verse 2]
-Wyclef-
Excuse me, what is your name?
-Hope-
Uh, my name is Hope, yo
I was blessed with the body of the Goddesses
Have you any idea how hard this is?
I could flex in 25 positions
But I only work here to pay my tuition
Yo, tantalizing teaser
Table-top pleaser
Give me what I need a
Mastercard or Visa
Lap dance fantasy
Picture us on an all white canopy
Wyclef extended his hand to me
Like Billy D. said he's feelin me
Take me away from here, so far
Where they ride horses, no cars
No more stripping in bars
Me and you 'Clef, against the odds
[Chorus 2X]
(Yo a lot of y'all sitting with y'all girls
fronting like the budweiser commercial
Talking bout, 'IIIIIII, I don't be going to the strip joints'
You lying man! You'd be surprised who you see up in there man.
I got one question for you liars, man)
Shot callers, What are you, a preacher?
You calling her a hooker? He without sin cast the first stone.
I met her on the subway, she gave me that VIP card
And told me if I ever have problems,
Don't hesitate to come by, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Chorus 2X]
Call up my mama said I'm in love with this strippah yo!
(Yo baby, can I get another lap dance? I tell you I
got nothing but funny money, man. New York Dogs.)
Like a slap in the face
So me and my Hubby ran across this story today.
All I have to say is what....the....fuck?
I've been homeless, eaten at soup kitchens, and volunteered at said soup kitchen. There is no reason to be homeless for fourteen years! NONE!
I keep thinking why didn't they spend this money to put her into an extensive rehabilitation center and get him some sort of education. That seems allot more beneficial than marrying them and giving them a house they will probably loose in a month. Then where are they? Right back where they started.
It's a huge slap in the face to people like me and the Hubby that have been there and come out of it and still can't even get a pat on the back.
Little back story here. Me and the Hubby are not legally married. We can't afford it. Plain and simple. I am the only one working because as of right now Hubby isn't medically able to work. Hopefully that will change after his Doc appointment on Monday. But still. I'm selling roses and stuffed animals in bars and strip clubs at night and that just isn't enough to pay the bills. We struggle to live and they get whatever they want by sitting on the streets? How is that fair to any working couple?
It's hard not to lay down and give up.
All I have to say is what....the....fuck?
I've been homeless, eaten at soup kitchens, and volunteered at said soup kitchen. There is no reason to be homeless for fourteen years! NONE!
I keep thinking why didn't they spend this money to put her into an extensive rehabilitation center and get him some sort of education. That seems allot more beneficial than marrying them and giving them a house they will probably loose in a month. Then where are they? Right back where they started.
It's a huge slap in the face to people like me and the Hubby that have been there and come out of it and still can't even get a pat on the back.
Little back story here. Me and the Hubby are not legally married. We can't afford it. Plain and simple. I am the only one working because as of right now Hubby isn't medically able to work. Hopefully that will change after his Doc appointment on Monday. But still. I'm selling roses and stuffed animals in bars and strip clubs at night and that just isn't enough to pay the bills. We struggle to live and they get whatever they want by sitting on the streets? How is that fair to any working couple?
It's hard not to lay down and give up.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Female sexuality of the teenage persuasion.
Ok so I recently ran across alot of flack about Oprah having a Doctor on her show promoting Mothers buying their daughters vibrators.
I sat and thought about it. It's not something a Mother should do unless she already has a very good relationship with her daughter. Personally though I don't see anything wrong with it. My Mother gave me a "back massager" and told me she would rather me pleasure myself than get pregnant.
Rather blunt there Mom.
But I didn't need years of therapy and honestly had kind of forgotten about it until I read about Oprahs show.
But much to my Husbands torment I discussed this with him. Not that he added too much to the conversation but it let me speak my thoughts out loud. I would buy vibrators for my daughters. Just the same as I would supply their birth control and condoms. If anyone thinks their daughter is going to wait till marriage to have sex and spend the rest of her life with that one man in this day and age is really, really setting themselves up for disappointment. So why not supply them with the tools and education to at least know how to have a good sexual experience. I can imagine how bad it can mess with a girls self esteem if sex isn't like the movies, and lets face it, if left up to a teenage boy she isn't going to get much pleasure out of the situation.
Then there's the argument that it will provide teenage girls sexual release and they will end up waiting longer to have sex since they have the option of satisfying themselves instead of their satisfaction relying on a boy. I don't know how true this would be. Granted you have to admit it gives you a little hope that your little flower wont be...ahem...deflowered sooner rather than later.
But from personal experience I'm glad my Mother did what she did. When I did decide to have sex I already knew what I liked and could tell my first partner, my partners after, and my Hubby now. Making for a better sexual experience for both of us. Because ladies, we all know, if we're not happy....they aren't going to be either.
I sat and thought about it. It's not something a Mother should do unless she already has a very good relationship with her daughter. Personally though I don't see anything wrong with it. My Mother gave me a "back massager" and told me she would rather me pleasure myself than get pregnant.
Rather blunt there Mom.
But I didn't need years of therapy and honestly had kind of forgotten about it until I read about Oprahs show.
But much to my Husbands torment I discussed this with him. Not that he added too much to the conversation but it let me speak my thoughts out loud. I would buy vibrators for my daughters. Just the same as I would supply their birth control and condoms. If anyone thinks their daughter is going to wait till marriage to have sex and spend the rest of her life with that one man in this day and age is really, really setting themselves up for disappointment. So why not supply them with the tools and education to at least know how to have a good sexual experience. I can imagine how bad it can mess with a girls self esteem if sex isn't like the movies, and lets face it, if left up to a teenage boy she isn't going to get much pleasure out of the situation.
Then there's the argument that it will provide teenage girls sexual release and they will end up waiting longer to have sex since they have the option of satisfying themselves instead of their satisfaction relying on a boy. I don't know how true this would be. Granted you have to admit it gives you a little hope that your little flower wont be...ahem...deflowered sooner rather than later.
But from personal experience I'm glad my Mother did what she did. When I did decide to have sex I already knew what I liked and could tell my first partner, my partners after, and my Hubby now. Making for a better sexual experience for both of us. Because ladies, we all know, if we're not happy....they aren't going to be either.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Stripping pregnant and why I quit
I quit stripping before I started showing but it didn't change the fact that I was a ball of raging hormones.
Rude comments are a nightly occurrence when your stripping so you eventually let them roll off your back. Be the ducky. Right?
Not so easy when your hormones are making you crazy. I never went running to the dressing room crying over something a nasty customer said. I...got...mean. Really. After becoming pregnant I told a customer he should consider himself lucky to see my face for a dollar, threw a hundred in a Spanish speaking mans face after he tried to act like he didn't know the dance was actually one hundred and fifty, knocked a drunk man on his bum, and so on, and so on.
Mean I say.
I would have loved to danced through my pregnancy. But it's honestly just too dangerous. I would have liked to dance until I paid for my education and quit before my Daughter started school. But my twelve year old stepdaughter is coming to live with me and the Hubby soon and me and the Hubby talked and decided that we didn't want her to have to be ridiculed at school if her classmates found out her Stepmother is a stripper.
She knew what I did and she probably could have handled it better than we think she could but still. There's no reason for that. Though it rubs me the wrong way that nobody will say anything about Hubby being a bouncer in a strip club. But others opinions about stripping is best left for another post.
Rude comments are a nightly occurrence when your stripping so you eventually let them roll off your back. Be the ducky. Right?
Not so easy when your hormones are making you crazy. I never went running to the dressing room crying over something a nasty customer said. I...got...mean. Really. After becoming pregnant I told a customer he should consider himself lucky to see my face for a dollar, threw a hundred in a Spanish speaking mans face after he tried to act like he didn't know the dance was actually one hundred and fifty, knocked a drunk man on his bum, and so on, and so on.
Mean I say.
I would have loved to danced through my pregnancy. But it's honestly just too dangerous. I would have liked to dance until I paid for my education and quit before my Daughter started school. But my twelve year old stepdaughter is coming to live with me and the Hubby soon and me and the Hubby talked and decided that we didn't want her to have to be ridiculed at school if her classmates found out her Stepmother is a stripper.
She knew what I did and she probably could have handled it better than we think she could but still. There's no reason for that. Though it rubs me the wrong way that nobody will say anything about Hubby being a bouncer in a strip club. But others opinions about stripping is best left for another post.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Lyrical Fridays 1
So I would love to share some songs that are stripper positive. So...welcome to the first installation of Lyrical Fridays.
Naked Hustler by: Kedash
I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I gat kids I'm a wife
And bills to pay
So I twist and shake
Till my body akes
I twist and shake
All day
And I pray That you make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
I'm the Naked Hustler
You heard of me
Figure eight frame
No Surgery
And it must be that ass
That gat niggers focused
And I do magic tricks like
Like hocus pocus
Tats on my back
And I know you notice
The way I make it clap
Gat your mouth wide open
They say I gat a future behind me
And I'm on my naked hustle
This is where you can find me
MONDAY
I'M AT rollex
Tuesday
I'm at coco's
Wednesday
I'm at take one
Thursday
I'm at black gold
Friday
I'm at diamonds
Saturday
Taking off my cloths
So support the naked
I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I gat kids I'm a wife
And bills to pay
So I twist and shake
Till my body akes
I twist and shake
All day
And I pray That you make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Rain
Rain
Rain
Naked Hustler by: Kedash
I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I gat kids I'm a wife
And bills to pay
So I twist and shake
Till my body akes
I twist and shake
All day
And I pray That you make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
I'm the Naked Hustler
You heard of me
Figure eight frame
No Surgery
And it must be that ass
That gat niggers focused
And I do magic tricks like
Like hocus pocus
Tats on my back
And I know you notice
The way I make it clap
Gat your mouth wide open
They say I gat a future behind me
And I'm on my naked hustle
This is where you can find me
MONDAY
I'M AT rollex
Tuesday
I'm at coco's
Wednesday
I'm at take one
Thursday
I'm at black gold
Friday
I'm at diamonds
Saturday
Taking off my cloths
So support the naked
I'm a stripper
And this Is my life
I gat kids I'm a wife
And bills to pay
So I twist and shake
Till my body akes
I twist and shake
All day
And I pray That you make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Rain
Rain
Rain
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